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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29862675">what the fuck are horses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesprouts/pseuds/littlesprouts'>littlesprouts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I'll figure it out as I go, Multi, anyway, compared 2 his shitty home planet ours is the lesser evil which tells u how fucked things are, haven't yet decided if its gonna be just best bros 4 life or if maybe they can... kiss?, he meets dave and they reluctantly save each other, im honest 2 god writing homestuck fanfic in the year of our lord and savior jesus christ 2021, rn i just need this shit outta my thinkpan, so it has come to this, the karkat comes to earth to get away from alternia, this pandemic fucking broke me you guys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:55:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29862675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesprouts/pseuds/littlesprouts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'Whats the best blood to have?' he asked, leaning forward with genuine interest.<br/>'Fuchsia.'<br/>Dave marveled at that answer for a moment.<br/>'And whats the worst blood to have?'<br/>Karkat hesitated and looked down at his hands.<br/>'Mine.'</p><p>Karkat flees to earth which recently struck up a fragile alliance with Alternia, he's straight up not having a great time until he meets Dave and they very slowly begin to make each other better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider &amp; Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Karkat: run</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He should have been more careful but he hadn't been and now he was going to die.</p><p><br/>Every sharp breath he drew as he ran through this cursed earthen city left a stabbing pain in his chest. He rounded a corner so fast he skidded on some discarded fast food wrappers and almost fell. Catching himself on his hands, he gritted his teeth at the sharp pain shooting up his arms and sped on.<br/>Three days on this planet, that's how long he had lasted. All of the fear, all of the care, all of the not sleeping and hiding – all for three meager days, spent feeling lost and hungry and scared. He had tried so hard but in the end it just wasn't enough.</p><p>One of the humans in pursuit of him shouted something and he ducked as a trashcan lid was thrown and nearly hit him on the side of the head. The lid bounced off the wall of the narrow alley with a crash and the man spat a curse. The alley suddenly gave way to a busy street and he kept running without stopping, trying to lose the policemen in the crowd while dodging elbows and handbags. There was more aggravated yelling and shrieking as he and the humans chasing him cut a swath of chaos into the bustling midtown. He stumbled as someone tried to grab him by the hoodie and a leg that was trying to trip him instead painfully collided with his shin. Sucking in a sharp breath he scrambled towards where he could see a clear stretch of asphalt. He broke through the line of people and - there was a brainsplitting loud noise and with a strangled cry he came eye to eye with the hood of a yellow taxi stopping mere inches from his trembling knees. There was more yelling but he was running again, all but throwing himself off the road and into the bushes beside it, rolling to break his fall. He didn't waste any momentum and sped around another corner, careering into a road lined by tall grey buildings which threw his desperate gasps for air painfully loud back at him.</p><p><br/>He ducked into an entryway. Keeping his eyes fixed on where he expected the men to reappear any moment he cautiously stepped backwards until his spine was pressed against the rusty door - which then gave a creak and opened a bit. His breath caught in his throat. He leaned back against it harder and it slowly inched open. Still keeping his eyes on the street he slipped backwards into the cool lobby. He almost succeeded in closing the door again as gentle as he could when one of the policemen came into view on the other side of the road. As if sensing him he turned around and his searching eyes met his.<br/>He let go of the door as if it had given him an electric shock and began sprinting to the stairs leading up. It was a guaranteed dead end but what else was he going to do? He was going to keep running as long as he was able. Which wasn't going to be for much longer, but still. He could hear them shouting in the lobby as he reached the second landing. They pounded up the stairs behind him and choking down a sob he forced his tired legs to keep going even though there was no chance to escape anymore. Stumbling up the last few steps he reached the uppermost story. The light was dim up here and there were only two doors, one of them big and iron, presumably leading to the roof – a desparate hope flickered behind his ribs. If he could manage to close it behind him, maybe he could jump down onto a fire escape with as little as a sprained ankle. He crashed against the door and yanked the handle down. <br/>Locked.<br/>He stared into the direction of the stairs. The shouting grew louder, accompanied by heavy steel-toed footsteps. Then, another sound. A small surprised yelp. His head spun around, eyes wide. The other door just opened, in it stood a young human holding a trashbag. They stared at each other for no more than a split second when suddenly Karkat's body jerked into motion all on its own and barreled towards the boy. His shoulders connected with the human's chest, pushing him back into his hive. Karkat threw the door almost shut and then latched it as quietly as possible. Behind him the human stood as still as him.</p><p>Gruff voices on the landing. One of the men noisily tried the handle of the door to the roof. A pause as they came to the only logical conclusion. Karkat was still panting painfully loud. He hurried to push his shaking hands up against his mouth to quiet his breathing. The voices had stopped. Several seconds of silence stretched into an agonizing eternity. Then, a brash knocking on the door. He pressed his hands harder against his teeth, pulling up his shoulders, hunching his back. A fist banged against the door again, a gruff voice bellowed a command. He hadn't even noticed that his feet were carrying him backwards, deeper into the hive. As if that was going to prolong the inevitable for more than a few seconds. The banging came again, this time accompanied by what sounded like a threat, he couldn't make out words anymore over the shrill chorus of <em>no no no no please no</em> ringing in his ears. He saw the human's back straighten.</p><p><br/>It was over. It was truly over. All for nothing. Through wide eyes he saw the boy shoot him an unreadable look from behind darkened glasses. Disgust probably. Hate. Something along those lines, his experience told him. The human brought up his hands in a sudden motion, violently ruffling his yellow hair and toed out of his socks. He yanked one side of his shirt up and stuffed it into his pyjama pants, completing the look. Then he opened the door.</p><p><br/>Karkat closed his eyes.</p><p><br/>They were asking about him, of course. Voices harsh and clipped. He pressed his eyes shut until there were flashes of bright lights behind his lids. <em>Not like this, please. </em> The boy said something in a coarse voice and one of the men grumbled at it. Karkat tried to make out the words over the rushing of traiterous blood in his ears, maybe he could at least find out where they were taking him. '-sunglasses inside?' he caught the end of one of the men's comments. The boy mumbled something about a hangover, adding a theatrical groan for emphasis. The policeman who had asked laughed at that. The other made a remark to hydrate appropriately and the boy gave an exaggerated yawn and wished the men a good day. Then he closed the door.<br/>He closed the door <em>with the policemen on the other side</em> . Through the wood he could hear the heavy footsteps barrelling down the stairs, voices getting quieter.</p><p><br/>This didn't make any sense. Karkat felt dizzy. This didn't make any sense. <em>This didn't-</em> from somewhere came a gurgled sound and then a heavy darkness swallowed him whole.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the dark spit him out again he felt as if it had half digested him, too. Everything hurt. The air was wrong. Was he on the floor? No, this surface was way too soft to be the wooden panels of his hive. Where the fuck was he? Why- The past couple of hours came rushing back to him like a freight train at high speed, hitting him square in the chest and forcing the air right out of his lungs. He shot up. The human was sitting in a chair a few meters away from him. Frantically he checked his body for restraints or signs of fresh hurt and was shocked and surprised to find none. His eyes shot back up to the boy.</p>
<p>He didn't understand. The human had seen his blood and he'd just been unconscious for an undetermined amount of time. He had had plenty of opportunity to kill him – but didn't. He couldn't wrap his hurting head around why he didn't off him when he had the chance. <em>Unless he wanted him to be awake for whatever he planned to do. </em>An icy fist coiled in his stomach.</p>
<p>He regarded the human with a threatening snarl, showing off as many teeth as possible and braced himself against the sofa, ready to attack.<br/>The human didn't move at the threat. He was still wearing the sunglasses.</p>
<p>'Dude, if you fucking jump me, I swear to God,' he warned him, his level voice showing none of the tiredness he feigned for the policemen earlier. The small hairs on Karkat's neck stood up.<br/><br/>'What do you want with me?' he growled.<br/><br/>'What do I- dude, <em>you </em> came <em> here.</em> ' He gestured wildly with his hands, Karkat's eyes following the movement intently. He let his scowl deepen.<br/><br/>'I was out cold. You could have easily-' he made an obvious handgesture.<br/><br/>'Wh-' the human started but shut his mouth again.<br/><br/>Karkat knew better than to repeat himself. He just kept staring, muscles pulled so tight he could feel them begin to shake faintly. He prayed that his captor wouldn't notice.<br/><br/>'What.' the boy tried again. It wasn't a question. His pale hands found his temples and started rubbing little circles there.<br/><br/>Karkat kept staring.<br/><br/>The boy stared back at him from behind his stupid shades like Karkat had presented him with a puzzle instead of asking him a simple question. Then his frown suddenly dissolved a his eyebrows shot up.<br/><br/>'Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.'<br/><br/>Karkat startled. The human let his hands fall down to his sides again.<br/><br/>'Oh, okay. I get it.' he nodded his head. 'You're <em> crazy</em> .'<br/><br/>If possible Karkat narrowed his eyes even further at that. A low rumble started in his chest.<br/><br/>'Of course.' the human continued. 'Of course. Yeah, I forgot whose life this was for a sec.'<br/><br/>Karkat felt as if the boy wasn't adressing him so much as the cosmos or possibly just the ceiling fan.<br/><br/>'Fucking. Naturally. If a blood dripping, clinically insane alien on the lam broke into any flat naturally its gotta be yours. Classic Strider. Oh, wow, I cannot even begin to put into words how fucking typical this is. You got away from one crazy person?? Here's a new one, asshole! Fucking figures.' The human made a sound like a faint giggle. It didn't sound particularly joyous.<br/><br/>A beat of strenuous silence followed. The human let out a shaky sigh. He didn't look very threatening right now but Karkat still wanted to bite off and swallow his tongue as he blurted out, <br/>'Sure. Evidently at least yo ur thinkpan is in perfect working order.'<br/><em>Shit.<br/></em> The human lowered his gaze to meet his. He forced yourself to hold it, even though his hands had started shaking again. But he didn't look angry. In his face Karkat found a splinter of the exasperation he felt and possibly, weirdly, the slightest hint of amusement. Karkat didn't relax but he stopped growling. It still didn't make any sense but he hadn't hurt him so far. He had picked him up and put him on the couch. He wasn't yet sure if for unsavory reasons or out of... something else. Again, it didn't make any sense. He hadn't even tied his arms and legs. Hell, he could probably just <em>leave</em>.<br/><br/>'I'm going to leave.' he stated with a gruff voice, putting a half-snarl in there to signal he wasn't going to let the human hold him back.<br/><br/>The boy opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and closed it again. He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.<br/>Karakt tentatively moved his legs out from under him and set them on the floor. He watched the human out of the corner of his eye who so far didn't make any moves to stop him. Karkat gave a short growl again to signal that he better keep that up und pushed himself out of the cushions to stand. Everything still fucking hurt and he was shaky and swayed a little but nothing seemed to be broken or otherwise seriously wrong. Well, apart from everything else obviously. Life still sucked tremendous mulebeast balls but at least he found himself in the pleasantly surprising position to still have one. <br/>He straightened his back a little and took a confident step forward – and suddenly came face to face with the floor. His vision went fuzzy around the edges and then fizzled out. His head buzzed as if someone had used his thinkpan as a gong and before he could find his arms and legs again there were hands on him. He screeched and cursed in fear, tossing and clawing blindly at his attacker. His left hand made contact with soft flesh and then there was the smell of fresh blood and his limbs became very heavy and were not at all connected to his body anymore and his head far, far away and then everything went away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He resurfaced with a hammering heart and a hammering head. He glanced around himself frantically but no trace of the human this time. <br/>There was a glass of what looked like water and a small white pill next to the couch though. He involuntarily scoffed. How gullable did the human think he was? Although, what did he have to gain from drugging him. Why trick him to knock him unconscious when he did such a stellar job at doing it for him without any outside help. He would be embarrassed if he weren't so fucking scared.</p><p>He slowly sat up and the headache got worse. It felt like someone was trying to bore a hole into his skull with the world's shittiest off-brand drill that was also running low on batteries. His stomach was hollow and he felt sick. He tried to recall when he last ate and felt worse. His mouth was dry and his tongue fuzzy. He eyed the glass on the floor again before picking it up and checking it against the light. He sniffed it. It looked and smelled unexcitedly and probably was just water, but if he had learned anything in his miserably life it was that the world had it out for him and that he could never be too careful. Setting the glass down again he noticed dried red blood on the tips of his claws of the left hand. He checked his body for scratches and found an abundance of them, but none matching his own claws. It must've gotten on his hands when he wiped his face after that asshole under the bridge bloodied his nose. Thank fuck it wasn't broken.</p><p>He got up cautiously, heeding every small pang of dizziness and taking his time until both his feet were firmly on the ground. He took a testing step and then another when it became apparent that he wasn't going to be reunited with the ground anytime soon. He crossed the room slowly and quietly and peered out into the hall. There were four doors leading off it, one of them the front door he had stumbled through and into this fucked up situation. One of the other ones was ajar – he could see a faucet and a drying rack with a few chipped mugs on it. A nutrition block.<br/><br/>He dashed across the hall and after making sure the room was empty hastily filled one of the cups with glorious cold water from the tap and downed it greedily in one go, some of it spilling down his front. He refilled it and willed himself to be less impatient, his stomach was still empty and the last thing he wanted now was to throw up. Well, the<em> very</em> last thing he wanted was to die but throwing up in a dangerous stranger's nutrition block came in hard second. A small noise behind him made him whip around.</p><p>The human was standing in the doorway, blocking the only exit. He was still wearing his sunglasses and holding a plate with crumbs on it. Karkat backed against the cabinets and got ready to dogde the dish. Instead, without showing any expression on his face, the boy started slowly walking towards him. Karkat gave a growl, hunching his shoulders. Undeterred the human came closer and – put his plate into the sink. Then he walked backwards towards the cooling unit until he could lean against it and crossed his arms. One of them was bandaged, but hadn't been before.</p><p>Karkat could feel the human's invisible eyes scrutinizing him and countered by showing him his fangs.</p><p>The boy tipped his head to one side, still looking at him like he was a shiny bug – gross but interesting. Karkat started growling again. Then, his traiterous stomach joined in.</p><p>'You hungry?' the human asked suddenly and taken by surprise, Karkat forget to snarl.<br/><br/>They fixated each other for another moment before the boy turned around to open the cooling unit. He was turning his back on him to show him how little he thought of Karkat as a threat. He had to be either really sure of himself or a very good fighter. Judging from the way he held his shoulders and how he balanced his weight it was almost certainly the latter. Karkat's heart sunk.</p><p>The human was rummaging through various jars and plastic boxes, putting some of them out on the counter.</p><p>'We have uhhhhh. Bread and....tuna? No, scratch that, I have no idea how old that is. Hm. Pickles can't go bad, right? I mean, they're <em>pickled</em>. Shit, is that where that word comes from? I'm gonna have to google that later. Or ask Rose, she knows fucking everything. I know she writes but she must also read a lot. And not just wizard fanfiction and dead austrian dude's ruminations on the fucked up human psyche, though that seems to be most of it. Okay. So we have bread and pickles. Oh, and peanut butter. And mayo. So, yeah. Sandwich?' he turned around again to face Karkat who's mind was reeling. He felt his already awfully tentative grip on reality slipping. He opened his mouth but couldn't decide what to address first and closed it again.</p><p>The human frowned at him and went back to setting out ingredients before fetching a plate from a cabinet next to the stove. When he pulled out a knife from a drawer Karkat sucked in a sharp breath. But when the boy didn't react to that and instead went on spreading some white condiment onto a slice of equally white loaf he released the air again shakily. Judging by the way of how he struggled to cut the slimy looking green things it seemed to be fairly blunt anyway. The boy put the green stuff on the white stuff and put his hands on his hips. He gave a small hum, then whipped around to Karkat who instantly pressed himself tighter against the cabinet and lifted his index finger.</p><p>'Wait a sec,' he instructed him and disappeared into the dark of the hallway, only to emerge again almost instantly with a bag of chips. He crumbled a few of them on top of the atrocity sandwich, then put all the jars back and turned to him with a terrifying grin, holding out the plate.</p><p>'Tadaaa!'</p><p>Karkat found it safest to just stand there and stare and say nothing.</p><p>The human gestured the plate at him and his grin faltered.</p><p>'Okay, I'm just. I'm just going to put it here,' he said, setting the plate down on the counter next to the sink. His face was a mask of neutral expression once again before he walked out and closed the door behind him. Karkat waited for a key to turn in the lock but nothing happened.</p><p>After a moment he peeled himself off the cabinet and inspected the sandwich.</p><p>It didn't look terribly appealing but his stomach didn't seem to care. It grumbled again. He had watched the human's hands intently, there would have been very little oppurtunity to poison him without him noticing. He cautiously picked at some of the chip debris. The small taste of spices was enough to break the spell and he began tearing into the sandwich like – like he hadn't eaten properly in a few days. Which...yeah. He devoured it in three big bites and then wished for about threehundred more. He was still hungry but he knew it was probably best to not overwhelm his stomach, so he settled on drinking some more water in small slow gulps. A sigh escaped him before he could stop it. He quickly pressed a hand over his mouth.</p><p>What had just happened. Why did the human just give him <em>food</em>. He was still so confused.</p><p>He tried the door – it really wasn't locked. Stepping back into the dim hall he debated what to do now. The exit was right there. He could be out on the street before the human even noticed. <br/>Before he could make a decision another door opened and the human stepped out. He leaned against the frame, hands in his pockets. <br/>Not an aggressive stance. Karkat froze nonetheless.</p><p>'So,' the human started. 'Not a big talker, are you?'</p><p><em>Oh you have no fucking idea</em>, he thought.</p><p>The way he said it held a challenge though and Karkat rose to it.</p><p>'Why?' he threw back.</p><p>'Why what,' came the lazy reply.</p><p>'Why are you ...<em>helping</em> me,' he scrunched his nose at his own words.</p><p>The human just shrugged.</p><p>'You seem like you need it right now.' he answered, infuriatingly. It was true of course, but still infuriating. Before Karkat could spew back something hateful the human spoke again.</p><p>'Bathroom's that way, by the way. Do a bro a solid and take a shower, you smell horrible.'</p><p>Oh wow. <em>Fuck him.</em></p><p>'Fuck you!'</p><p>'I'm just telling the truth here man, don't shoot the messenger.'</p><p>He looked Karkat up and down who could feel his ears going red. With rage, obviously.</p><p>'You're a lot shorter than I-' Oh, that was such an overstatement, it were mere inches – 'but I think these-' he disappeared into the room again. There was the rustling of fabric and the unmistakable sound of a toe colliding with something hard followed by a quiet curse.</p><p>'-will fit okay.' He reemerged with a bundle in his arms and threw it at Karkat who ducked out of the way.</p><p>'...Dude.'</p><p>Karkat glared at him from where he dropped into a fighting stance on the floor.</p><p>'Okay. You do you.' the human sighed again and rubbed at his eyes underneath his shades.</p><p>'Towels are under the sink, you can use all of the stuff in the shower, I don't give a shit.'</p><p>Karkat didn't move.</p><p>'The bathroom door locks from inside, if that helps. Just don't, I dunno, slash your wrists in there or anything, alright?'</p><p>Karkat flinched at that. The human was still looking at him expectantly though so Karkat gave a small nod.</p><p>'Cool.' the boy nodded back and returned to his room, closing the door behind him.</p><p>After another few seconds of shock and perpetual confusion he gathered the clothes from off the floor and slipped into the room the human had pointed to. He had told the truth, there was a lock on the inside of the door. There was a reassuring <em>clunk</em> as the bolt slotted into position. Then it was as if the string that had been holding him taut, holding him upright and somewhat together suddenly snapped. He fell to his knees and started to cry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>YEAH BABY, TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY<br/>y'all are so fucking nice in the comments i wanted to give you something extra??? adsfgdhjkj so here, take this </p><p>(also did you think shit was calming down for Karkat?? LOL THINK AGAIN IM NOT DONE PUTTING THE HURT ON HIM YET)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the sobs subsided he heaved himself to his feet, wiping his face with a dirty sleeve. He took a steadying breath and undressed to assess the situation.</p><p>The mirror told him about the dried blood under his nose and on his chin, there was a cut on his forehead that was thankfully half conceiled by his greasy and matted hair. There were bruises in different shades of colour and hurt on his arms, collarbone, hip and up and down his legs.</p><p>Both knees and palms were skinned and crusted with dry blood. One of his ankles hurt and made a weird new snapping sound when he twisted it but it still supported his weight so he decided not to worry about it. The worst were probably his ribs. No chance in hell these weren't cracked. A huge multicoloured bruise spanning the size of a foot covered the right side of his chest and he took a sharp breath when he tried to map it with his fingertips.</p><p>There was nothing to be done about it. <em>It could be worse</em>, he told himself, <em>it could be so much worse</em>.</p><p>He climbed into the shower, it was different from the one in his hive but easily enough to figure out. When the hot water hit his tense shoulders he almost started crying again. For a moment he just stood there savouring the comfort, hanging his head and blinking stray drops of water out of his eyes. For some reason all the labels had been peeled off so he didn't know which of the bottles in the shower contained what so he just chose the one which smelled the best.</p><p>The towel was coarse and the clothes crumpled and too big but he felt better and more like a person than he had in almost a week.</p><p>Alright, he thought. Karkat is back online. And immediately winced at the choice of words. He missed his friends. Suddenly the mindbogglingly huge distance between him and them hit him. He didn't allow himself to think about if he would ever talk to them again. Not yet, at least, let's schedule that breakdown for another time.</p><p>He put on his shoes again. Better to be ready to run at any given time. Pressing his wadded up filthy clothes to his chest he unlocked the door and left the ablution block.</p><p>He was going to thank the human. He still had no idea why he was giving him things like food and clothes and allowed him to clean himself and even if this was all part of some weird twisted plan to lull karkat into a false sense of security he was still –</p><p>
  <span>The door to the room with the couch was open. The human stood next to where the glass of water still sat on the floor <em>holding a sword</em>. An honest to Gog sword.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat turned and ran. Before he could even form a conscious thought he had thrown the door shut behind him and was taking three steps at a time.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>alright, hope y'all are ready for a cheeky little POV change bc that's happening </p><p>dave is an adhd icon and writing him is super fun but we'll be back to karkat's POV in the next chapter dw</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit shit shit shit shit. <em>Shit</em>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fucked up. He had tried so goddamn hard to not fuck up <em>and yet</em>. Eventually his miraculously strong fuck up genes had kicked in and ruined things just as he had begun to get a handle on the situation. Well, sorta. At the very least he had been tentatively optimistic and <em>of fucking course</em> the universe had to hurry and shove it's big ass middle finger in his face as soon as possible and punish him for the daring thought that, for once, he might be equipped to deal with a situation that <em>included</em> other people and <em>excluded</em> swords. Except the situation had turned around to not exclude swords at all and promptly gone tits up. <em>Story of his life.</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd never seen a troll up close before today. And so far he hadn't minded – he had been curious of course, but if he was being perfectly honest they were kinda scary. Well, the ones he'd seen from afar and on the news had been at least. This one...not so much, he had to admit. For one, this one was way smaller. A few inches shorter than him, even. The grey skin was the same but while the horns of the other ones had been way longer, sometimes twisted and forked and sharp like candy-coloured rapiers, this one's were short and round and barely noticeable. And most importantly, this one was scared. Really, really fucking scared. <br/>Of course he wanted to know why the police had been after him, though lying and sending them away hadn't even been a conscious decision. When they had threatened to kick in his door his body had just switched to auto pilot. It had seemed right in that moment but now he caught himself worrying his lip between his teeth. What if that troll was dangerous? What if he had attacked or even killed someone? There <em>had </em>been blood on his clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hell, it was probably actually a good thing the dude was gone. Dave wasn't really that keen on getting involved in any murdercases. Shit, was he an accomplice now for harboring a criminal? As cool as it was to get put on a watchlist or something <em>in theory</em> he wasn't at all up for going to prison. Though if push came to shove he could probably convince Rose to post his bail. Her family was fucking loaded. He'd still pay her back of course, Strider code of honor. Oh fuck, did they contact your next of kin when they took you to the people's pound? Because if they'd call bro Dave might just had to start a brawl in the mess hall in the hopes of getting his skull bashed in. <br/>Would bro even come see him? Would he pay the bail? Or would he just come to stare at Dave through the bars like the shittiest zoo animal ever? Oh crap, they definitely wouldn't let Dave keep his shades. Facing bro without them in any scenario would be unacceptable but in this one in particular it would be without doubt the best option to go for his carotid with a plastic knife before that even became an option. Yeah. It was definitely better that the troll had booked it straight outta here when he'd seen Dave holding the sword.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which he had just been in the process of retrieving from behind the couch cushions and putting it somewhere out of sight <em>exactly so a situation like this wasn't gonna happen</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the world was still the world and his life was still his life so there had been no other possible outcome, really. Whatever. It was whatever. He wasn't going to keep thinking of the guy any longer. Out of sight and out of mind. Easy. He was just going to go back to how he was going to spend this day if a fugitive extraterrestrial hadn't shown up in his abode and passed out on the floor. Twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his shoulders and willed them to relax. This weird little blip in reality was over, back to normal. System reboot and on with the program.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considered pestering Rose. Or John. Or Jade. But for some reason he didn't want to tell anyone about the troll. Rose would only psychoanalyse his irrational actions and relate them to some kind of trauma he tried his best to pretend he didn't have. And John – well, he was still his best friend but things were a bit awkward since Dave's stumbled attempts (yes, plural) at coming out. Jade would probably approve of lying to the police and taking in a troll on the run but probably not of how he handled just about everything else. Plus she would ask a thousand questions and really, the more he thought about it he didn't want to talk to anyone at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting dark outside. Which was just a neutral observation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put on his headphones and tried working on yesterday's track but only succeded in making it worse. He went and made some pizza rolls that had already acquired a thick coat of frost at the bottom of the freezer. He should get groceries but for a reason he could not for the life of him put his finger on he didn't want to leave the flat. He dicked around on his websites for a bit, then went on a wikipedia deep dive which took him from poison dart frogs to fractal geometry to the history of buttons to Chernobyl's Elephant Foot to bee dances until he finally gave up procrastinating going to bed by watching videos of Rube Goldberg machines around 1 am.</span>
</p><p><span>On his way back from brushing his teeth he stopped in the hall. </span>For a moment he debated if he should leave the front door ajar. Just in case the troll came back. Which he was totally indifferent about. But then again, what if anyone else tried the door. It was basically a big ass 'please rob me' sign. He might as well just put a big red bow on his Xbox before going to bed. Maybe he should put the spare key under the mat? Would the troll even think to look there? Was that even a thing in troll culture? He knew they had like, houses and shit, but was the concept of keys hidden under welcome mats universal? In the end he decided that he totally didn't care enough and went to bed. Sure, he had some trouble falling asleep but that was nothing new. He often lay awake until.... 4 am. Yeah, totally. Insomnia was a fickle bitch and just happened sometimes, no special reason necessary.</p><p>He tried sleeping on the cool side of the pillow until both were equally warm. He opened a window and closed it again. He tried sleeping on his side, he tried sleeping on his back, he tried masturbating, he tried sleeping on his stomach. He got up and got himself another glass of water and got up again half an hour later to pee.</p><p>What if the guy came back and rang the broken bell. He didn't know it was broken. What if he knocked while Dave was asleep – would he think Dave just didn't want to open the door? Hell, <span>would he even come back here? Why would he, really? He had looked like he'd had a few rough days but he didn't look like he was living on the streets. He had to have his own place to go back to or maybe a shelter. Just because he- </span></p><p>
  <span>There was a shuffling noise in the stairwell outside his flat. Dave's thoughts came to a screeching halt as all his tired braincells honed in on the faint sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed his shades from the nightstand and swung his legs out of bed. Toeing barefoot across the hall, he put his ear against the front door. There was a huff of breath and suddenly a muffled thud as something – someone – heavy slumped against the wood. Dave scrambled to undo the chain and ripped open the door. He gave a small startled noise as the troll fell limply towards him. Cursing under his breath he bent over him. His eyes were half closed and his lids flickered, his skin seemed flushed. He gave a groan as Dave hooked his own arms under his and started dragging him inside. His head lolled with the movement but Dave didn't allow himself to panic now. He set him down gently in the hall and rushed to close the door. There was blood on the stoop. And the landing...and the stairs. Swallowing he shut the door and returned to the heap of troll on his floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was trying to open his eyes. Or rather, eye. Jesus H. Christ that was a shiner if he'd ever seen one.</span>
</p><p>'Is this going to be a thing? You showing up bloody and bruised on my doorstep?' Dave couldn't help himself. He was angry and worried and relieved and confused all at the same time. His nerves were skydiving from the Independent building and the fuckers weren't wearing parachutes.</p><p>
  <span>''Think it already is,' the troll croaked and started coughing blood.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*crawls back out of the pit with a little snippet to let y'all know Im still alive and writing this*</p><p>hi guys!! sorry the uploads aren't daily anymore but i'm currently working BOTH day AND night shifts (rip me, honest 2 god) and there's just no goddamn time to write even though i really REALLY want to and you guys in the comments have been AMAZING and I want to give you nice things like hot chocolate with these small marshmallows in it and Davekat interactions that don't make you want to facepalm all the time BUT ALAS</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The human had stood uneasily next to him in the hallway while he had been busy coughing bloody saliva onto the tiles. First he had been afraid some teeth had come lose but thankfully it was only a cut on the inside of his cheek. At one point the human had left to get him a towel to wipe his mouth with which Karkat had taken gratefully with shaky hands. After the fit he had tiredly slumped back down into a curled up position and closed his eyes again, too exhausted to be weary of the human anymore, until he had gently nudged Karkat with a foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So, uhm.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat grunted half-heartedly in reply. Everything was spinning still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Are you- can you get up on your own or do I have to carry you bridal style to somewhere less cold and on the floor?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't even warranted that stupid question with a grunt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Pffff. Alright then.' the boy had huffed and suddenly there were arms under Karkat's shoulders and knees and he was being lifted off the ground as the human made good on his threat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat's eyes flew open and he reflexively started flailing which obviously upset the human's balance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Dude – <em>stop</em> – I'm gonna drop you-'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Wh- what are you doing you- Ugh! Put me down!' he yelled and struggled against the human's arms around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'What the fu- <em>argh,</em>' Karkat's hand slapped his cheek and knocked his shades askew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Put! Me! Down! You bulg- <em><span>Ouff,</span></em>' the air was pushed out of his lungs in a humiliating wheeze as the human artlessly dropped him on the couch.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>FINALLY!!!! some introductions are made!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>So Karkat had ended up back on the blasted couch, though this time mostly conscious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human had put a trash can and a fresh towel next to where he was slumped against the cushions in case he suddenly wished to spit more blood. It was very hard to keep his eyes open but he figured he kind of owed the human an explanation. He was surely going to ask for one, at least. Karkat could hear him in the nutrition block. The sun hadn't yet decided to creep over the horizon and he was sure he must have woken him up but he was still wearing these stupid sunglasses. At first he had thought that maybe the human was blind but now he suspected he was just fucking weird. When the bespectacled weirdo came back he thrust a glass of water into Karkat's hands and this time he accepted without protest. After looking around indecisively for a bit he settled on the floor and looked at him expectantly. <br/>Karkat bit his lip and avoided looking back at him. He hunched his shoulders a bit more and breathed out deeply through his nose. <br/>No way this wasn't going to be supremely uncomfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Sorry.' he mumbled finally. That was a least a start. 'I didn't know where else to go.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a beat of silence and the shadow of a frown on the human's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Last time you thought I'd <em>kill</em> you man.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'But you didn't so far.' Karkat shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So...?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So I've decided to... trust you.' he grimaced. 'For the time being.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'What?' Karkat snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'If that's where the bar is your upbringing must've sucked even harder than mine.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I didn't really have one.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Exactly, me neither.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy snorted and unexpectantly extended his hand up to Karkat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Dave, by the way.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat eyed his hand for a moment before hesitantly reaching out and giving it a little shake. His palm was surprisingly rough and calloused for a species with such thin skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Karkat.' he admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human – <em>Dave</em> – let out a small laugh and Karkat pulled his hand away, curling it defensively against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'What?' he spat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Sorry, it's just so – <em>delightfully alien.</em>'<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Well, <em>you're</em> the weird alien from <em>my</em> perspective,' Karkat grumbled but he guessed his burning ears betrayed that he wasn't really angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave wrestled down his grin and put on a serious expression again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So, did you get kicked out or something?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat blinked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'In... in a way? Why?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I mean, you said you didn't know where else to go but you don't quite look as if you've been roughing it for too long. At least – not when you first showed up here,' he gestured vaguely at Karkat's growing collection of injuries and grimaced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat glowered at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I had a hive, obviously. I came here three- no. Four? Ugh. A few days ago and honestly, from my experience, though limited, I'm inclined to give this piece of shit planet on the puss-filled ulcer-ridden backside of the universe zero out of any possible stars,' he spat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Fair.' Dave nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I'll be out of your hair in a bit, don't worry, I'll just-' Karkat had started to uncomfortable shift on the couch but Dave interrupted him. He held up a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'We'll talk about that later. I'll have to think.' He got to his feet which were obviously asleep but he tried to hide with limited success.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'If you'll excuse me, I will now go and take the nap of the fucking century.' He announced and limped out of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He seemed to do exactly that since Karkat heard nothing from him until he was startled from his uneasy doze on the couch by the sound of the shower running at some point in the late afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Okay.' Dave said decisively from the door frame a little while later. He was wearing different albeit just as crumpled clothes as before and his hair was wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Okay?' Karkat pulled up his knees and eyed him suspiciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I've been thinking.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Did it hurt?' Karkat bit his tongue but Dave ignored the comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I've been thinking,' he repeated. 'If you really have nowhere else to go – except wherever you went to get that Guinness World Record-worthy black eye which I wouldn't encourage – you can stay here for the time being.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat opened his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Shh! I'm not done. I won't kick you out, this is some Oliver Twist shit right here and no matter what the papers say, I still got something akin to a heart underneath these jumping pecs,' he gestured to his flat chest, 'so you can stay for now – but not indefinitely, alright? While you stay here you can try finding like, a job and your own place to live, maybe you can apply for housing at the agency or maybe there's like, a fund for trolls new on earth or something? I dunno, we can figure that out. You can sleep on the couch,' he gestured to him sitting on it, slack-jawed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I don't reckon you have money, which would help but oh well. I can provide food for both of us for a week, maybe two. It will be mostly pasta and nothing fancy but it would be really great if you could chip in with some cash as soon as humanly-' he frowned. 'Tro-' he tried again, giving an exasperated groan. <br/></span>
  <span>'...as soon as possible. How's that sound?' he finished, looking at Karkat expectantly. He was finding it hard to speak around the fist-sized lump in his throat so he just nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Cool.' Dave gave back, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Cool.' Karkat croaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Thats settled then. Wanna watch a movie or something?'</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dave fetched several blankets and dumped them onto a protesting Karkat on the couch before sitting down at the other end of it and pulling some of them into his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat struggled to make sense of the movie, not just because Dave kept shooting sneaky glances at him and pointedly ignoring it when Karkat did the same. The boy was emphatically melting into the cushions on his side of the sofa but it was clear he was just as relaxed as Karkat who was coiled like a spring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nicolas Cage did something that involved way more explosions than was explicable by logic when Dave finally broke the silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'By the way,' he was still looking at the screen, 'I wasn't gonna slice and dice you, back there. I mean, I can't explain why i have the sword because a) it's a long story and b) I don't want to talk about it. But just to clear the air, I wasn't like, waiting for you to be done in the bathroom to initiate a strife or something. If you can believe me.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karkat, still stiff as a stuffed scuttlebeast – and also pointedly not looking at the other – nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Okay.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Wait, really?' now Dave turned after all. 'Just like that you don't think I want to off you anymore?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I mean... yeah?' he kept his eyes fixed on the mullet-sporting, dirty wifebeater-wearing ex-felon as a car or something exploded behind him.For what felt like the fifteenth time.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>'If you had wanted to do away with me I honestly think you probably would have by now. I-,' he grimaced, 'I kinda gave you an abundance of chances for that.' He felt his cheecks go hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave snorted and Karkat gave in and shot him a dirty look from beneath his drawn brows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both returned to watching the movie. Dave sat up a little and crossed his arms behind his head and Karkat stretched out his legs. Several more minutes of explosions and gunfire passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Dave.' he tried out the name.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Hm?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'This movie sucks.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'So hard.' Dave nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HERE IT FUCKING IS!!! THE NEXT GODDAMN CHAPTER<br/>work is still taking up pretty much all of my waking hours but i had a real weekend (for the first time since starting this job oh god i don't want to think too hard about that lest i start crying) so i could finally work on this and sleep for a normal amount of hours</p><p>If you noticed the sudden improvement regarding grammar and overall structure that's all thanks to my incredible beta readers aardwoof and youthoughtyouknew!!!! i never had anyone beta anything for me and it has been such an exciting and rewarding process im still fucking stunned and eternally grateful :')</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the movie, Dave went to the kitchen to make dinner, Karkat trailing after him. He wasn't sure if Dave wanted him to come with, but he didn't protest when Karkat settled awkwardly next to the stove while Dave got out a pot and a box of pasta. </p><p>He handed the pot to Karkat, who was relieved to have something to do. He filled it with water from the sink while Dave got out another small cardboard box and snack mineral from another cabinet, as well as butter from the thermal hull. Karkat put the full pot down on the stove, careful not to spill as Dave turned on the heat. The human leaned against the stove with a pointedly casual slump to his shoulders, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants. Karkat could feel him staring intently through his shades. He hunched and crossed his arms. </p><p>'Can I ask you something?' Dave suddenly said.</p><p>Karkat tensed up immediately, eyes narrowing, but he nodded. </p><p>'Why are you here?' </p><p>Karkat flinched. He had known this question was bound to come up, but it still wasn't one he was prepared to answer. Dave seemed to pick up on his defensiveness. </p><p>'I mean, not <em> here </em> here,' he followed up, gesturing to the kitchen, 'but like, <em> Earth </em>.' </p><p>He said the name of his planet like it left a sour taste on his tongue and rushed to fill his mouth with new words. </p><p>'Because, from what I've gathered, our blue marble is, like, a last resort—I mean, the alliance is barely a year old and, like, I thought you guys don't come here unless you're uh, super desperate.' </p><p>Karkat hunched his shoulders even more, curling into himself. He angrily blinked against the tears in the corners of his eyes. </p><p>'Exactly,' he pressed out. </p><p>'If you don't want to talk abou-' </p><p>'I don't.' His knuckles had gone a lighter shade where they were gripping his arms.</p><p>'Okay. Sure.' Dave shrugged. 'What's your favourite food?' he asked instead. </p><p>Karkat looked up from the floor and eyed Dave suspiciously. Surely he wouldn't let it go that easily. He was taking the piss, he was sure, he just didn't know <em> how </em> . 'What?'<br/><br/>'What's some gross alien food you like to eat? Like, do you have pasta on Eternia?'</p><p>'<em> Alternia </em>. And yes, obviously.' He was still wary, but he rolled his eyes. </p><p>Dave was still watching him, eyebrows drawn over the rims of his sunglasses questioningly. </p><p>'My favourite food is probably just like, ugh. Fresh grubloaf with butter, I guess.' Karkat felt himself blush a little. This was stupid.</p><p>'Is that, like, bread?' </p><p>He didn't feel like explaining, so he just shrugged. 'Kind of.' </p><p>Karkat thought it was an embarrassing choice. It wasn't even a real meal, which is probably what Dave had wanted to know. He shouldn't have answered honestly. It was just that anything fresh was so hard to come by that even essentials—like slices of soft grubloaf—had been small, all-too-fleeting luxuries. But this human didn't need to know that. </p><p>Dave hummed and turned to put the pasta into the boiling water. </p><p>'What's yours?' Karkat was surprised to hear himself ask. Though he was glad because Dave gave him what looked like a genuine smile. </p><p>'This.' He gestured to the ingredients he put out. </p><p>'I mean, my favourite food ever is a bacon-pickle pizza from a <em> definitely </em> mob-owned italian place near our old flat that closed down in the late 90s, probably due to health code violations, but, like. As far as comfort food goes, <em> this is the shit </em>.' </p><p>Karkat looked at the pasta boiling away, the stick of butter, and the box of breadcrumbs, and frowned disbelievingly. </p><p>'I'm telling you dude, just you wait.' </p><p><br/>Karkat didn't have to wait long. The pasta was done shortly and Dave strained it over the sink using a lid. The sink gave a <em> bonk </em>when the hot water hit the cold metal and Karkat absolutely did not jump a little. Dave pressed his lips into a tight line but didn't say anything, putting a big chunk of butter onto the noodles and stirring them until it melted. He then added a bit of snack mineral and pepper and the bread crumbs, mixing everything together, then dividing it up between two bowls. </p><p>'Bone ape the teeth!' Dave grinned proudly, shoving one of the bowls into Karkat's hands before taking the other one back to the couch. Karkat followed him. </p><p>They settled back down and Dave put on the TV as background noise, not bothering to look for something decent to watch. He was already wolfing down his food. </p><p>Karkat tried a forkful. It wasn't bad. It was… nice, actually. Buttery, carb-laden and—yes, Dave was right, comforting. It was a little bland and completely devoid of vitamins, but fuck him with a culling fork, he was so hungry he would have eaten overcooked, re-heated bileslaw if Dave had handed it to him. </p><p>They ate in silence. <br/><br/></p><p>When Dave sighed contentedly and leaned back there were still a few noodles in his bowl. Karkat was already full too, but he'd been unsure about when his next meal was going to be for too long to not finish his food when he had it. He even scraped out the stray breadcrumbs before hesitantly sliding down into a more comfortable position.<br/><br/></p><p>Karkat’s full stomach suddenly made him realise how tired he was and how heavy his eyelids had grown. He allowed his shoulders to relax a bit, selfishly wishing Dave would leave his own couch so he could sleep. Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a little while, a few seconds, minutes tops, he could—</p><p>Something brushed against his arm and he shot up with a yell. He scrambled into a crouching position, eyes wide - only to immediately press them shut again and hiss through his teeth as a white hot pain seared through his side. </p><p>Dave was hovering close next to Karkat, but not touching him. He was holding both of the bowls. </p><p>'Fuck, dude, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you jump, just, you looked like you were falling asleep so I thought I'd take your—holy shit, are you alright?' </p><p>Karkat's hands had shot up to his ribs. He let out a shaky breath through gritted teeth. 'Y-yeah. Fine,' he lied, convincing zero percent of the people in the room.</p><p>'<em> Dude, </em>' Dave said, tone almost chiding. </p><p>'It's <em> fine </em>, I said. Just moved stupidly, that's all.' He carefully inched into a sitting position again, grimacing. 'See? It'll sort itself out, always does.' </p><p>Dave was obviously not buying it. He set the bowls down onto the floor to be able to cross his arms. 'Do you need to see a doctor? I mean- you probably should see a doctor. Right?' </p><p>Karkat looked at him.</p><p>'You know, medical help?' he supplied, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>Karkat shook his head decidedly. </p><p>'Are you sure because- aw wait, are you even insured?' </p><p>'Am I what?' </p><p>'Like, health insurance? So you can go to a clinic and they put a bandaid over your scraped knee without charging you a million dollars?'</p><p>Karkat frowned. 'I've never been to one of those.' </p><p>'Wait, never? Have you just never been hurt or-' </p><p>Karkat let out short a bitter laugh, then flinched again, subtly shifting his weight. <br/>'Dave, that's reserved for Coldbloods. No one lesser than a Green gets medical help,' he answered Dave's look, talking as if to a very small child. He expected Dave to snap at him for talking down to him, instead the expression of deep confusion on his face only deepened. </p><p>'Cold bloods. Like...horses?' </p><p>'What the fuck are horses.' </p><p>'Oh God.' Dave sighed, rubbed his eyes behind his shades, '<em> Mac and Me didn't prepare me for this. </em> ' Dave got out his palmhusk and started typing furiously.<br/>'Like, these guys?' He thrusted the image search into Karkats face. </p><p>'Ohhh, <em> hoofbeasts </em>,' he said. 'Yeah, no, we got those. Yours look a bit fragile though. Kind of sickly.' </p><p>Dave started to look like he was in pain. </p><p>'No, I mean, Bluebloods and Violets and all these pompous assholes,' Karkat explained, realising too late that he didn't know the human's caste and there was a good chance he just insulted him. He bit his tongue but Dave didn't look angry, just still confused as if trying to solve a puzzle several years above his grade. </p><p>'Blue… blood.' he repeated slowly. 'Like, royalty?' <br/><br/>Karkat scoffed. 'That's what they act like, anyway.' </p><p>'And Violets. Greens? Are these, like, political parties, or...?' </p><p>It was Karkat's turn to look confused. Dave didn't seem <em> too </em>stupid or mentally underdeveloped so far, but this shit was basically Life 101. Now they were both frowning. </p><p>'I feel like there's some cultural misunderstanding happening here – I'm talking about blood colours, Dave.' It felt stupid saying something this obvious out loud. <em> In other news, did you hear that water is wet and the undead rise with the sun? </em></p><p>'What.' Dave said intelligently. </p><p>'<em> What </em>what?' Karkat bristled. His already threadbare patience was wearing dangerously thin. </p><p>'Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute here,' he held up his hands. 'Wait. Are you telling me trolls have different… blood… colours?'</p><p>'Yes? Obviously.' </p><p>'<em> Holy shit. </em>' He forgot to close his mouth for a moment, then visibly remembered and swallowed. </p><p>'Like, green?' </p><p>'For example, yes?' </p><p>'And blue? And violet?' </p><p>'Yes, obviously.' He was starting to worry about the human's mental state.</p><p>'Yellow??' his voice was definitely higher than usual now. </p><p>'Yes, Dave. Basically the whole goddamn rainbow,' he rolled his eyes. </p><p>'Oh <em> man </em>.' he shook his head. 'That's so... wow.’ Dave shook his head again, harder this time. It seemed to clear his mind to some extent. </p><p>'So.' He sat up straight, leaning forward with genuine interest, 'What's the best blood to have?'</p><p>'Fuchsia.' </p><p>Dave marveled at that answer for a moment. </p><p>'And what's the worst blood to have?' </p><p>Karkat hesitated, looking down at his hands. </p><p>'Mine.' </p><p>Karkat curled in on himself even more. </p><p>'Hm.' Dave mused for a moment. He seemed to notice Karkat’s discomfort because when he spoke again his voice was the softest it had been so far. </p><p>'Not to be culturally insensitive, that shit is totally rad and interesting - but that doesn't mean anything to me.'</p><p>Karkat furrowed his brow, forcing himself to look up from where his hands were twisting in his lap. </p><p>'Like, humans don't have that sort of... blood hierarchy?' Dave continued. </p><p>'You don't–' he swallowed. 'You don't have ...a hemospectrum?' </p><p>'If that's what it's called,' Dave shrugged. 'Doesn't make much sense if there's only one option, you know?' </p><p>Karkat's mouth was suddenly very dry. </p><p>'Do all humans have the same blood colour?' he asked tonelessly. </p><p>'Yes.' Dave snorted, apparently amused by the look on Karkat's face. </p><p>'...which one?' His voice was barely above a whisper.</p><p>'Red.' Dave replied, matter-of-fact. </p><p>Karkat froze. 'What-' He cleared his throat but the words came out just as coarse as before. 'What hue.' </p><p>He held his breath.</p><p>Dave apparently found this a funny question because he didn't stop the corners of his mouth turning upwards as he dipped his shades, treating Karkat to a look into his eyes without them. </p><p>'Candy red,' Dave said, and grinned.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, big fucking THANKS to my beta readers aardwoof and youthoughtyouknew :') english is not my first language so their input has been invaluable ♥</p><p>If anyone else has suggestions or feedback PLEASE COMMENT it's the only thing keeping me alive</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>holy shit guys<br/>apparently i've lost all my shame to the plague bc it seems i'm writing fucking homestuck fanfic in 2021????<br/>anyways, i hope you guys are coping better than i am lmao</p><p>for every comment i will personally mail hussie one (1) bee so PLEASE tell me if you liked it or what worked/didn't work, i have all these spare bees lying around and i don't know what else to do with them</p></blockquote></div></div>
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